Personal Journey Entry # 8

Good morning, everyone, from beautiful and frigid Maine. We were blessed with another incredible sunrise this morning. It is peaceful to sit with a cup of coffee and watch God paint the sky. He does have a sense of humor, though, as he gives us a vibrant morning and slams us with a snowy night. Obviously, he never had to shovel snow in Bethlehem!

It was a productive week as the calendar filled up with appointments for tests, planning, and counseling. I finally got the approval for the PET scan, and the Endoscopy/Ultrasound is booked. Unfortunately, Exeter Hospital did not do the prescribed tests for my 24-Hour Urine Test, so we have a redo. If we will have glitches, let it be with the urine. I will meet with my thoracic surgeon and oncologist next week so we can move forward. I look forward to seeing what we are up against to see how extensive the procedures/treatments will be.

I am keeping busy during the days to keep my mind idle, but sadly, nights are a different story. Shay is away this week, so the nights are just for Jazzee and me (who turned 14 on Valentine’s Day). It is when I am trying to find sleep that the what-ifs occupy my mind. I am so positive and ready for this fight, but I think it is normal to play the what-if scenarios. I keep going through a master to-do list so I don’t leave Shay with unfinished projects. Winter is not a good time for this, as many items on the list are exterior projects. I realize it is a first-world problem that we have a list for both Maine houses and to get Exeter ready to rent. But, damn, there are a lot of bullet points on the lists. Just another reason to beat this thing, get healthy, and get the lists done. I hope when I meet with the folks at the Dempsey Center, they will have some tricks to shut down my mind. I need the rest. Fatigue continues to be my only symptom.

Thanks for joining me this morning. Writing is my therapy.

God Bless, Ray