Personal Journey Entry # 54

There are two thoughts in my head every morning, which may help to explain why my mornings usually start around 2:30 am. One wonders if the cancer we defeated will ever come back for another try at pulling me down, and the second is a bit more upbeat. The second is how I was so incredibly lucky. Why was I given a fairly easy path to remission? Oh, we had a fair share of setbacks and disappointments with surgeries that went off plan and radiation treatments that dissolved the tumor, but wreaked havoc on my heart. I am learning to live with a faulty heart. Sure, I still get tired easily, and every once in a while, I fall asleep in mid-sip and pour a cup of coffee on myself, but damn it, I am alive, and it is a beautiful world and life to wake to in the middle of the night.

I still belong to some Facebook groups where patients with Esophageal Cancer and their loved ones share their stories. I hate to say it, but their tales make me look to heaven and thank Almighty God for having the grace and love to spare Shay and me. I would like to share a few of these posts, and ask that you find a moment in your day to say a prayer for these folks. I pray for them every day and hope that they can find peace on their journey.

• I lost my love sunday. He fought so very hard. EC is such a rotten dirty aweful Cancer. My heart is broken.
• I’m so sorry and heartbroken for you! I lost my husband in October after a 2 year battle. He was only 58 and I’m so broken.
• Friday, January 23rd I heard the words we all want to hear! I am 5 years cancer free! The doctor sat down and told me I was cured! I lost family members to this cancer and for the last 5 years have been on pins and needles that this beast of a cancer would return. Thank God that I was spared, at least for now. I plan on celebrating and will spend my time giving back! Thanks for listening! I am sending prayers to all the family and fighters to this cancer!
• I just lost my best friend after a two year battle with squamous esophageal carcinoma. She was diagnosed in April 2024 and had the ivor Lewis esophagectomy. She was down to 110 pounds at that point. She had a round of 12 treatments and was cancer free for a few months. By June 2025 it had metastisised on a new spot on the esophagus. She was now lucky to be 95 pounds. She started another round of treatments  but it was really tough.

I don’t share these stories to be morbid. I share them with the utmost respect and humility. I know so many people who have heard the incredibly sweet words that you are cured, but there are so many who may never get that wonderful message. I pray long and hard each day for these folks.

I did not ring the bell when I got the word that my cancer was gone. I spoke with a friend at church on Sunday who is undergoing treatments now, and he agreed that he will not ring the bell either. We both agreed that this journey is a trip for life, and we will ring the bell with our Almighty Father on the day we reach the final stop on our trip. That is when this journey will finally be over.

May God bless you, share his grace with you, and spread his arms around you to protect you. It is a beautiful life, and we owe it all to him. Have a wonderful day. Hug your loved one a bit tighter today and say a prayer for those still on their journey. Amen