Personal Journey Entry # 52

God has been with me every step of the way, ever since I gave myself to Him and His plan. He has guided us, Shay and me, through every step of this process, and along the journey, He has been listening, too. This week, he answered all of us. Though we still have a CAT Scan test next week, and some of the biopsies taken on Wednesday are off to pathology, the initial results are what we had been waiting and hoping for; there is no apparent carcinoma in my esophagus. The radiation and chemotherapy worked, and the tumor is gone. We are not out of the woods yet, but I can see the end of the forest, and we allowed ourselves some celebrating after we left the hospital.

I expected a stronger reaction, but Shay and I are physically spent and emotionally drained from everything we have experienced this year. I wanted a Bourbon badly to mark the occasion, but all I allowed myself was a very weak Mimosa, and damn it went down quickly. Breakfast may have never tasted as good, and we enjoyed every bite and the moment. I have been given a second chance at living, thanks to the love and grace of our Lord.

We still have much ahead of us. Because I still have my esophagus, I will need to be scoped every year to ensure we catch any possible recurrence early, but that is a small price to pay for the feeling I have for beating cancer. It gave us a helluva fight, and each unsuccessful procedure added to our anxiety level. We have complete faith in God and His plan, and we are prepared to fulfill whatever He has in store for us.

I met with a small group of GOP members from the Brookline/Mason area Tuesday night, and part of the discussion was about my cancer journey and the importance of early detection. There were many questions, and I think the message was well received. Making people aware is a facet of my calling. The other is our online cancer support group. We got a boost this week from Pastor Craig and a new person who will help expand the program. There are so many people to reach, and getting to as many as possible will be our mission.

I have a busy week of tests coming up for the cancer, and my heart. Getting my heart back in rhythm, getting my breathing back, and eliminating fatigue will be my priorities for the new year. At least God has put us at ease, and we will celebrate Christmas this year with a little more faith, passion, and love.

God bless you all and thank you each for your thoughts and prayers. They worked, as we knew they would. God is so great and loving. We praise Him every day.