Personal Journey Entry # 5
It has been a couple of weeks since I got the news of my cancer, and I have been able to take stock of myself, both physically and mentally. It is incredible how your mindset changes, as do your priorities. Little things that used to be a nuisance don’t even hit the radar screen. Oh, there are still some fellow drivers who drive me up a wall, but the little things at home are just not a big deal. Maybe they never should have been. Mark that as a positive lesson.
It has been two weeks, but we are still in a holding pattern. My Endoscopy/Ultrasound is still weeks away, and the PET Scan is still under consideration with the insurance carrier. I guarantee that whoever has my request on their desk has never been, nor any relative, diagnosed and is waiting for approval for a potentially life-saving test. I really hate to go down this path, but might it behoove the insurance company to delay and perhaps limit their future payouts? That is a dark but plausible thought. I signed up with a patient advocate group to help with future delays. I thank Lana for that suggestion.
Physically, I still have no symptoms other than incredible fatigue, which is unnerving. Had I not had that routine Endoscopy, the cancer would have had a head start on its path to destroy my body. Thank God for the screening and the chance to start fighting the cancer in my esophagus sooner and with hopefully positive results. Let’s ring that bell!
I have decided that what I thought was numbness in my brain from hearing the news is actually acceptance. I am not angry or depressed by the news. I do not believe I have a right to be upset with fate. God has presented me with this challenge and will determine the outcome. I have faith in his decision. My job is to keep a positive outlook and work on the plan we will eventually have to combat this disease. I am not a patient person, so please let us set a path and work the plan.
God Bless all of you who have reached out and are praying for me. I cannot thank you enough. Please, stick with me. I will need your support and prayers to get healthy again. They are the best medicine.
Love you all. Ray
Categories: Journey
Prayers for you both. You’ve been my favorite columnist for some time now. My wife has gotten used to me reading your column to her over morning coffee. Nearly 70, I haven’t been given the awful news like you have. Both my son and son-in-law have thankfully been able to ‘ring the bell’. Treatments are improving every day with greater success for patients. Stay positive!
Just discovered your work while reading the GraniteGrok.
I wish I had sooner but here we are.
Great reporting and great understanding.
I’m wearied but indefensible straw man liberal BS.
But I am buoyed by the former democrats being elected and/or appointed in this repu license administration.
And the “warp speed” changes being initiated by Trump. Even possibly brokering an end to the slaughter of millions in this world for no reason.
Good times.
I am praying for you too. Faith is a gift from God. Never doubt that we only love Him because He loved us first. Believers in the redemption of us from the slavery to sin was accomplished, and we are adopted sons. If sons, then heirs.
God only wants the best for His sons. The way He accomplishes this is truly the best way. We of course have no idea what’s best for us.
That said may He bless you, your loved ones, and your work.
May He establish the work of your hands.
Peace