Personal Journey Entry # 34

In addition to the deadly damage cancer does to your body, Cancer also exerts incredible force on your state of mind. It forces you to think about today because its presence has reduced the chances of tomorrow. It heightens your senses and emotions, making the highlight moments of life more meaningful and the lows less significant. It forces you to concentrate on what is truly important while letting the small stuff float on by. Maybe in its sadistic manner, it teaches us an important lesson in how we prioritize life. Perhaps I am giving Cancer too much credit, for it deserves none. It is an ugly disease that snuffs life far too soon for far too many.

I had my Smart Port inserted into my upper chest yesterday. It is an interesting name for a device that takes the thinking out of injections by giving the nurse or phlebotomist an easy target for their needles. It was an easy procedure, and I was awake and listening to the surgical team the entire time. The conversation had little to do with me, the patient, or the procedure, which must be so routine at this point, but with the choice of music to listen to in the surgical suite. It was a short procedure and the debate, took more time than the music played. Ironically, the Surgeon decided to go with Black Sabbath. I didn’t tell them the real Sharon Osborne was waiting for me when they were done. The port is a simple device, but it is a harbinger of the months of chemo treatment that lie ahead.

I went to the Hannaford pharmacy this week and got the prescriptions to respond to the side effects of the chemo. The quantity of medications to take care of nausea, constipation, and diarrhea makes it clear that chemo will not be a walk in the park. I am trying not to prejudge the experience, but the preparation says otherwise, and the waiting time to get started is not helping. I am hoping and praying I have little reaction to the poison entering my body, but it’s good to know I have a grocery bag of meds should I need them.

On a positive note, I was interviewed by Imerman Angels this week and was accepted as a mentor. It could be tomorrow or years from now, but I hope my future mentee and I are as matched as Dave and I were and that I can do as good a job as Dave and Kathy did for Shay and me. Shay and I are getting involved at East Auburn Baptist Church to give back and serve. Shay is working with the Fostering and Meals Program, and I am waiting to start a Cancer Support Team. We are both excited; this is a way to focus on something other than my Cancer. The Pond is beautiful, our friends are all around us, the construction has started at our Highlands home to finish the basement, and we are enjoying the plans everyone brings to the table for all of us to enjoy. Life goes on, as does the battle against my Esophageal Cancer. There is a whole bunch of us pulling for life to win this war.

Thanks for stopping by, and as always, may God bless you and shine his light upon you. We love you all, Ray