Personal Journal Entry #58

It’s been a while since we got caught up, and there have been some happenings, and as always, lots of thoughts. I have a minor procedure scheduled for tomorrow, but it holds immense meaning for me. I am having my chemo port removed, and that closes the door on the cancer journey we have been traveling for the last year and a half. I wish I could celebrate this moment without trepidation, but I feel I will forever be looking in the rear-view mirror for cancer to strike again. I don’t look at that as defeatist, but as realistic. Had the surgery been successful last April, my esophagus would have been removed and along with it any chance of esophageal cancer recurring. Instead, all of the factors that resulted in my cancer are still there. I pray to God every day that He continues to grant me the grace that He had so lovingly blessed me with, and spare us a round two and another journey. Don’t get me wrong. I know how lucky I am and how blessed I have been, but I just need to take a peek behind every so often.

I met with my cardiac specialist a couple of weeks ago, and we are going to live with the A-Fib for now. My heart is strong, and I can live with the shortness of breath and the extremely minimal increase in the chance of a stroke. To me, that is a better option than another procedure. My throat is still constricted, but I only choke on two of three meals a day, so that too will be with me for the future. But did I mention I am cancer-free?

I was reflecting on the many people around the country who I now have in my circle of friends, as well as those close to home, and realized that we have not lost a soul to this ugly disease. Most of the people I know through Imerman Angels and our support group have survived Esophageal cancer. Still, we have many who have survived far more serious variations of cancer, and some for multiple times. Cancer is no longer a death sentence. It is absolutely still a killer disease if not caught early, but we are either the luckiest bunch on earth or a sign that all of the research and hard work is paying off. I also know that God above has a lot to do with our success, and every one in the group is a believer and prayed their way to the bell. My oncologist told me he is so excited to be practicing in this field because not a day goes by without another breakthrough, meaning more lives saved. I hope God continues to watch over these brilliant doctors and nurses who are angels on earth dealing with cancer.

In closing, I ask that you continue to remember every cancer patient in your prayers. I will never downplay the importance you all had in my success, and I love you all for what you did for Shay and me. We traveled this journey hand in hand, while our other hands were raised to God. I ask him to hold you all in his loving hands and keep you safe and healthy.

God bless you all, Ray